Dear Colin
by ToiletFacility
Summary: Sequel to "Dear Alex." Alex writes Colin a letter back...


**(Drumroll!!) Alex's reply to Colin's letter! Written on request, so, ENJOY!!**

**(Unless you don't like it. If not, then send me a review with your name, age, and pin number and you will receive a FREE IPOD!!!! **

**Disclaimer: The above statement is not actually true.**

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Dear Colin,

Wow… Colin…. COLIN??!!

I bet Mrs. Blenderface will make you read this out. (1) When Ian died Mr. Bray made me have her. (She was a BITCH. You can tell she gossips about us in the staffroom afterwards!)

Apparently his 'unfortunate, untimely passing' had a 'profound, traumatic effect' on me, leading me to become an 'avid hypochondriac.'

When she asks you what I'm saying, read this out:

"I'm sorry, Colin. I'm so, so sorry that I had to get you involved in this, but the thing is, I'm in denial. (Here's where you look a bit concerned.) I've been telling people lies for so long… but I have to say it. (PAUSE) I can't. I really can't. I'm sorry Colin but I can't say it…. I think I need to see an overly qualified psychologist…."

Anyway mate, I'm glad you're back on track. I missed you, you know that?

Things have changed a bit. Now everyone is giving me those sad looks that you described perfectly. When they talk to me they say it really slowly and cautiously, like I can't understand what they are going to say, or will get offended or something. God knows why. They still think I'm in a gang or something stupid like that.

Last time that new girl asked me for a stapler it looked like she thought an axe was going to come hurtling across the room because she spoke to me! (It seems that she has an irrational fear of international terrorists/gangsters/drug dealers!)

I'm used to it now though.

Things aren't too great at the moment. And I'm really REALLY sorry, you are wrong about… you know. So very, very wrong. But it's under control, ok? I never had a choice, anyway.

I wish people would get used to that. Why a DRUG dealer, seriously?? A gangster??? Why can't I be something cool… like an… oh, I dunno. (I'm not wagging, I swear.)

You were right about one thing, though. Skoda is in jail because of me. (Francis? Seriously?? I've always reckoned it's Lesley or Rupert or something.)

Anyway, I saw him that day. He was just making me so pissed…. You know why. I had no idea what to do. I wanted to call the police, but that just didn't seem as good as driving a steak into his heart. Or maybe shooting him with a pure silver bullet.

I followed his car. (I know, I know. All you need now is the action music.) He drove onto the docks. Seriously, I'm not taking the piss here. He had a barge full of drugs! Him and a prison mate had set up a laboratory (2) in a boat, right next to the police station.

I had a weird idea in my head by then.

I went to the construction site, and got in the crane. They didn't just let me on, either. I just got up when they weren't watching. I picked up the barge with the crane… and you saw what happened next on the news.

Anyway, it'll be great to see you again on Monday.

From,

Alex

PS: I am going to MURDER Tom veeeeeeeeery slowly. Do you know what he's done??? DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE'S DONE???????!!!!!!

He's signed me up FOR THE SCHOOL MUSICAL. Do you know what's even worse? It's CATS!!!! I will TORTURE HIM!!

PSS: Tell Mrs. Blenderwhatsit that she forgot to bring her eyebrows this morning.

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**(1)She's the SCHOOL councillor, not just a random one that Colin just happens to be seeing.**

**(2)Alex would be allowed to tell people about what he did to Skoda. It had nothing to do with MI6, so he wasn't breaking the Official Secrets Act.**

**I wasn't originally planning to write a sequel, but after a few requests I gave in and had a go. Thank you SO much to HikaruOfArrow, beccaleelee, hello93bye, greekmyths, and Scorpia 710 for reviewing Dear Alex… I certainly hoped that I would get more reviews.**

**I took the time to write this for YOU, my dear readers, so it would be nice if you wrote a line or two on what you thought of it!**


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